Measuring Milestones

Photo Courtesy of Morguefile.com

My daughter graduated from high school today, except she has to return to school tomorrow to finish out the term. A classmate graduated with her.

Only two graduating seniors? How can this be? Not only that, but the official graduation ceremony is next month.

K. and T. both have autism, and it was decided that going through the major graduation ceremony would be too stressful. The principal was even on hand to give them their diplomas. I thanked him afterward, and he said that they do this for their special needs students. Peer tutors talked about K. and T. and how much they enjoyed them, and there was even a small reception with cake afterwards.

It's been a long educational road for K. The first day of kindergarten we had to pick her up at the elementary school because she became upset. It's probably hard for people who don't have children with autism to understand that a change in routine or sensory overload can trigger strong emotions.

Over the years, her outbursts became less and less. K. excelled not only in math and art, but in basketball as well, once shooting thirty-six baskets in a row in gym class. She did volunteer work at an animal shelter and a children's charity.

Through it all, she never gave up. And that inspires me to keep pushing toward my publishing dreams. Sometimes, one needs to put things in perspective, realize that no matter how difficult something seems to be, it's not impossible.

Countdown to NaNoWriMo

According to my NaNo stats, this will be my seventh year participating in the popular writing challenge. Fifty thousand words in thirty days. For fledgling novelists, the stats seem almost impossible to achieve, but if you break it down, 1,667 words a day is manageable. If you're willing to commit, that is.

I'm friends with authors and they don't all write novels. (Or, in NaNo's case, short novels.) Some are poets, others screenplay writers. But some have expressed a desire to write a novel. Indeed, they've started plotting one or have even completed it. Finishing a manuscript is a feat unto itself and anyone who reaches that milestone should be applauded.

But what of those who can't seem to get beyond "taking notes" and yet never advance on their novel? I've tried to convince a friend to sign up for NaNo. If nothing else, it would help give her the push she needs. We've discussed her story, but I think she's come to rely too much on planning and still isn't quite sure how to approach the actual writing.

Is it fear? Hard to say. Many aspiring novelists probably fear that if the first line isn't perfect, the rest of the story will hobble behind and eventually collapse upon itself. Trust me, stories can be revised. I hate the beginning of my current UF. Hate it. But I plowed on ahead and continued with the revisions. The beginning will take care of itself. I just need to spend some time away from it. (Not to mention, I've changed it so much, I couldn't even tell you how the story originally started.)

So what am I writing for this year's NaNo? A phantasmagorical type of story, one inspired by the cons I've attended. Do I have any idea of my plot or characters? Only a vague one. Why worry? I have two weeks to plan this thing. Of course, I say that every year and then before I know it, it's November 1.

But I've got faith. After all, out of six NaNo attempts, I've won four. Not bad odds.

To learn more about NaNoWriMo   

(Mis)Adventures at ConGlomeration

This past weekend I attended ConGlomeration, a local sci-fi/fantasy convention. Although not an official "guest," I was listed in the programming booklet under "Also Attending ConGlomeration" with a nice little write up and link to my site. 

ConGlomeration opened Friday April 22. The first workshop I attended was "Steampunk Tutorial Part 1." Christopher Boll showed us how to take ordinary objects and give them a Steampunk spin. We learned about creating a character, including that person's occupation, likes and dislikes, etc. Other discussions included cyberpunk and diesel punk and how steampunk can span different eras (up to about the 1930s).

Now it was time for "A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words.” The premise of this workshop was to swap stories and artwork. Artists and writers were paired off. The author would give the artist a piece of writing the artist would use to draw a picture. Meantime, the author would write a story based on a picture the artist had created.

I partnered with Christine Griffin, a portrait artist who’s done covers for Loose ID and Cobblestone Press. She let me choose a print from the art exhibit.

Copyright & Credit: Christine Griffin & Fantasy Flight Games

This was the piece I selected. Later I discovered it was for “A Game of Thrones” by Fantasy Flight Games. Anyway, I loved it so much, I bought it.

After explaining I didn’t have anything written, either, she asked if I wouldn’t mind a portrait. I wrote a quick description of Xariel and Karla from Death Sword. Then I remembered I had a sample chapter of Death Sword on my IPod. I let her read it to get an idea of the characters and she decided to draw Xariel.

Friday ended on another high note when I got a chance to meet artist Melissa Gay. Melissa has done covers for Apex Publications, including Lavie Tidhar’s Hebrew Punk. So yeah, I went all fan girl on her.  :-)

Day’s panels finished, I headed home to start brainstorming ideas for my artist/author swap story. I’ve been tossing around the idea of writing a story about a Valkyrie and her wolf. So it was a matter of dipping into a little Nordic mythology to come up with a work about a page or two long.

Unfortunately I couldn’t stay up too late because the next day’s panel began at 10AM.

Even worse, I missed the first panel on Saturday. But I made the 11AM one, another steampunk workshop. Yes folks, this weekend was steampunk and writing.

After lunch found me awaiting my turn at the “Author Reading” panel. I was one of about a half dozen authors reading that afternoon and followed the guest of honor, Peter David. Luckily, no one fled the room after I started reading the first chapter of Death Sword.

However, what works fine in rehearsal doesn’t always cooperate during the performance. My IPod locked up. What? I was reading an E-book. Might as well read it from a digital device. Although I was able to continue, I went two minutes over my allotted time. (Sorry, Marsha!)

Overall, though, the reading was fun. Even if there was a techno glitch, no one really seemed to mind. (Maybe it’ll make people remember me.) Oh, wait. That might not be a good thing...

The last panel for me that day was “Going Digital.” I had been invited to be on it but somewhere along the line communication got mixed up and I ended up in the audience. (Shrug.) Nevertheless, I participated, giving my perspective and asking questions. It actually ended up being a lively exchange about where digital publishing is now and where it’s going.

Panels finished, I headed home to work on my story. After all, I had a Sunday noon deadline. 

I finished the story Sunday morning and headed to the con. Apparently part of my brain – the one that controls memory – decided to go on vacation. I was almost there and realized I’d forgotten my badge.

Yep. Another head-desk moment. Not only that, it was ten minutes to noon (the start of the panel) and I had to drive back 11 miles. Time to hit the interstate.  I silently thanked the DOT for raising the speed limit.

I arrived for the second part of “A Picture’s Worth a Thousand Words” at 12:06PM. I was late but I wasn’t too late. Luckily, the audience seemed to like the story. If you like, you can read it here. (You'll have to scroll down.)

Copyright & Credit: Christine Griffin

Christine Griffin then showed us her version of my hero Xariel from Death Sword. This is the first time I’ve ever had an artist draw one of my characters. Damn, it’s like the coolest thing to see how she  interpreted him. Chris told me she even went back and reread the sample chapter to get a better idea of the character.

So, yeah, I’m stoked. And of course I had the pieces framed to hang on my wall.  

If you get a chance to attend a con, do so. It’s a great opportunity to meet other people (i.e. artists and writers) and to be inspired. 

To learn more about the con and the artists' work, click on the following links:


ConGlomeration

Christine Griffin (artist)

Melissa Gay (artist)

Remembering the Green Man

It’s a year to the day that Peter Steele died, and some part of my soul aches in sympathy with the grief of many. A while back, I read an article where the writer asked why Peter Steele matters. And I mean, really, why should this six-foot something guy from Brooklyn, New York matter to me at all? After all, it’s not like we knew each other. I owned some of his music. Enjoyed annoying a succession of partners to the strains of October Rust.

But Peter Steele does matter. He was human, with good points and bad, and it shone through. And his music and self-deprecating humour touched a particular group of people who're not afraid to look at the beauty in some of the shadow parts of the Self, to revel in what some may consider trite gothic imagery. Peter Steele was honest, personable and heartfelt. He wasn't afraid of laughing at himself in an industry where many take themselves too seriously.

Many probably couldn't see past the long-haired Brooklyn boy. Many didn't "get" the humour or the goofing around. Or maybe it's because that I too have played in metal bands and that base humour doesn't bother me so much and I can relate to its silliness.

We ascribe meanings to people, places and objects that resonate with us that mean very little to others. We see diamonds where others see only coal. But I'm not going to get all existential now. My brain's not wired for that today and it's too depressing.

Peter Steele’s death makes those of us who've already been touched by death realise that all that we have can be taken away in an eye-blink. Which brings me to the Paul Bowles quote used on Brandon Lee's tombstone:

Because we don't know when we will die, we get to think of life as an inexhaustible well. And yet everything happens only a certain number of times, and a very small number really. How many more times will you remember a certain afternoon of your childhood, an afternoon that is so deeply a part of your being that you can't even conceive of your life without it? Perhaps four, or five times more? Perhaps not even that. How many more times will you watch the full moon rise? Perhaps twenty. And yet it all seems limitless...

And every day I'm so totally driven by this URGENCY, this sense to get a move on and GET THINGS DONE. Because everything exists in a fragile equilibrium. One small thing can be the lynchpin that, when removed, brings it all crashing down.

Peter Steele matters to me because he’s a reminder of work left undone, of a creative spirit snuffed out before he reached his peak. Who knows. The next time I try to kill myself I may just succeed. Or I may get pushed under a train. Or tomorrow evening six men may break into my home, rape me and murder me. Life is red in tooth and claw. I accept that.

Life is short, fragile and fraught with misery. My words may be opiates, pretty baubles, but they give me a reason to exist.

Inspiration

The first thing people ask me is where do I find inspiration. My typical answer is everywhere. But today, it occurred to me, that to a person who maybe doesn't have an artist's mind, this answer may not make sense. So I thought about it. I dug deeper for the answer to that question.


Yes, I do find inspiration everywhere, but that's because I look for it.


I don't mean that I go out of my way, but I've noticed that a lot of artists, writers, actors--basically anyone in the arts--are of the quieter variety. To the outside this makes us seem shy, and many of us are, but just because we're not speaking, doesn't mean that we're not paying attention.


A few nights ago was a good example. I was at a party (a situation that I feel entirely out of sorts with) and though I probably said fewer than two words, I learned more about the people attending then I think they learned about each other. I listened to their conversations, the careful back and forth that reveals everything and nothing. I watched their mannerisms, the subtle body language. I observed every nuance from they walked, to the dialect in their voice and the way they stood. I filed these bits of information in my brain, to be used at a later time. Who knows, maybe party-goer A is my new hero.


When I go somewhere, I find that I take in every detail. My brain memorizes the smells, the sights, the lines of building architecture, the taste of food or drink. I break these down into elements and somehow they work their way into my worlds.


Another example was when I was hiking yesterday during the fall As I traipsed through the woods, my brain flashed to a scene that I hadn't yet written. It was as clear to me as a memory--as though I knew those woods and that scene happened to me. And I realized I was seeing the woods not through my own eyes, but that of my characters. I went home and jotted down the scene. It will be in my current work in progress.


So you see, inspiration does come from everywhere. But that's only because as an artist, I view the world very differently. Some might say strangely, but it all makes sense when I write it down.

Headlines as inspiration

I hate the phrase "ripped from the headlines" but sometimes it is appropriate. It's no surprise to me or anyone who knows me well that I finally created a character that's a reporter. I love knowing what's going on in the world, seeing the threads of where today's events originated in the past and speculating about where they might lead in the future. What writer hasn't been captivated by a headline? I always imagined crime news might be inspiring to mystery writers, especially crimes not easily solved. My husband has a subscription to Wired magazine and also checks their website often. The stories he relates to me sometimes sound like they would make great fodder for speculative fiction. If I wrote military sci-fi I would be keeping an eye on their DarpaWatch tag. The fact that they even have a DarpaWatch tag is kind of awesome. All kinds of weird little plot bunnies might be found by perusing the links collected at the Daily Grail news briefs. Sometimes it's just little odd stories that capture your imagination and insist on being filed away for future use in a story. I remember coming across one such item about a piano found in the woods. It was too far away from any homes to have been easily moved their and no one in the area had any idea how it got out in the middle of the forest like that. I had a vision of a pianist playing for Fae as they danced around the trees, and filed the thought away in case I might be able to work it into a story eventually.

Sometimes it's the big stories that fascinate me. I have conflicted feelings about the realities surrounding Wikileaks, but I have to say as a writer it fascinates me. If I wrote spy thrillers I would be all over this. There's stuff there for speculative fiction writers, though. Here's a great headline: Rumors continue that Wikileaks will release cables about "war" on UFOs. The headline alone is so great, you don't even need to click on the story before your imagination is off and running. Believe me, my imagination has galloped. But I have to build my fictional world before I soak it in gasoline and drop a match on it.

Have you ever been inspired by something you read in the paper or online news?